The HolySpirit and My Testimony

I have for a long time been convicted by the Holy Spirit to testify of God’s power and the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ by sharing my story with others. Many of these times, it is either I tend to be shy, or I focus on what people are going to perceive and say about me. I have been under this conviction for a long time until the Holy Spirit visited me once again and asked me a question: “Which do you care more about? what carnal people will say about you today, or what Jesus Christ would say about you on the final day when you stand before Him?” I couldn’t respond to this question, because obviously I cared more about the latter, and to the glory of God, the HolySpirit inspired me of how many miracles my testimony could do in saving people’s lives.

If you are reading this today, I want you to know that you are not here by chance, neither are you here because you were pushed to, but for a reason best known to God alone. I want you to read this post not with a judgemental mind, but with an open heart and mind, trusting God to give you a greater testimony as you allow yourself to be imparted by mine. Let us begin.

As the youngest child amongst four siblings to a single mom and a very curious one for that matter, I was brought up in a very busy community but mostly indoors. I would always hear voices in my head as if I was in a group of peers chitchatting about new things daily. My mom was a very hardworking woman and despite the financial hardship and poor standard of living we could afford, she always strived to make sure her children are fed at least twice daily.

I was a smart boy especially with technology and always loved to touch a computer anytime I came across one. This got me into fancying spending time at the internet cafe as that was the only means I could afford to have a computer to myself, at least for few minutes. Back in Junior High School, I would never let a mid-week pass without buying the student’s weekly newspaper (Junior Graphic) because I loved to read, and since I loved the idea of being able to write to people in different places, the first place I would always check was the penpals page.

I began by writing to few students showcased on the penpals page from time to time, then one day a friend introduced a website called the Florida Keys to me at the internet cafe. The whole idea was to fill a basic form and in return, I would receive a letter with a shiny gold-colored card from them, all the way from Florida to Ghana. I was super happy because this time I wasn’t just going to receive a letter from a friend in Ghana but from someone all the way from the United States of America. I tried it without any hesitation, and after few weeks, the post boy in school mentioned my name and brought me my letter. I was overjoyed as I opened my first letter from the U.S.A.

Just as you guessed, it became a habit. I would spend time at the internet cafe looking for other websites that would send me souvenirs just by filling basic forms without postage fees. I kept on and on, and always received letters upon letters, from CDs to jewelry boxes, I later thought it was time to get something worth more than letters. A friend who was into pen paling on the internet introduced me to one pen pal site after complimenting me for how fast my fingers were on the computer keyboard. I began to message people through emails seeking their friendship and these were mostly adults. I slowly got caught in having to write on behalf of people because of my proficiency in English and the command I had on the computer keyboard.

My friend would mostly recommend me to guys who posed as girls to American men (referred to as ‘clients’) and asked that I wrote to them whatever lies they had to tell them, and in return, they would pay me when the ‘client’ is convinced and sends them money. As a naive boy, I was happy to render such a service because I saw it as a way of being appreciated for my smartness.

Since I was exposed to the internet,  I would come across pornography ADs most of the time as they spammed weblinks and pages. I was brought up by a morally upright mom and so anytime I saw such ADs, I would quickly shut them off. This continued for a while until one day I saw a guy openly watching pornography in the internet cafe. I was amazed because this was something I thought was disgusting and people would even fear watching in an open space. I began to have that mindset that the internet cafe was like the jungle of kings where everyone could do what they wanted so far as you can afford to rent a computer.

so once in a while, I would click on such links and peep when they appear. At first, I didn’t know why people watched it by the way, but soon enough I started liking it, obviously because the demon behind pornography is a cunning and disgustful one. In no time I was caught onto it, would want to watch it anytime I visited the cafe. At times I am enticed by the demon to touch myself and do all sorts of nasty things, yet I withheld it because it was an open space and I still had that shyness in me.

I realized I became addicted when I would be reimagining scenes from the videos I watched when I got home and became worse when I finally started masturbating at home when everyone had left. No one taught me to masturbate, I just did it as if I had been taught by someone, and yes, that is how the demon behind pornography works.

It kept on getting worse every day, and I became so addicted that I barely lived a day without having to masturbate. I would sometimes hear a voice telling me to try smoking, as that gives it a more soothing feeling. I was so much influenced by this spirit that one day, I walked to a shop in our neighborhood and bought a stick of cigarette just to come back inside the room to smoke and have that feeling. It was a very bad experience, but trust me, I am glad I am sharing this testimony today.

This addiction kept on torturing me through to senior high school. I made several decisions to quit, but it felt like I was bound to the act and could not take a step out of the demonic space. I would usually have to hide in the toilet to masturbate because I would feel so incomplete and feverish if I tried to suppress it. At a point in my life, I thought this has come to stay, and there was no way I could break free from it. I used to read articles containing testimonies that stressed breaking off by being determined and I wondered what it meant to be determined because I tried all I could but it seemed to grow much worse each day.

One day, in my normal life after senior high school, I had a dream in which I had the calling of God. I had had many chilling dreams but this was the only one that left me shivering when I woke up. I cried a few times and prayed to God to forgive me, then the HolySpirit told me I cannot do things with my strength. There are two forces that influence every act in this world, and because I was ignorant, I had given myself off to the spirits of the dark world.

I prayed all night and asked the HolySpirit to help me, I remember times when I had to fast and cry to the Holy Spirit like I was in a room with a physical being trying to grab His hand so he pulls me off this mud of addiction. It was a tough one and a day never passed without me having a strong urge to masturbate, because I didn’t know exactly what to do. Then one other night, I had a repetition of the dream I had previously. This time around, The HolySpirit told me clearly what I had to do for God and that was going to help me.

The secret is to put my God-given assignment first in everything I do. If that became my focus, it would be easy for the HolySpirit to be my strength. Glory be to God, now I am free from this addiction. From the initial stages of breaking away, I would get the urge from time to time, but The HolySpirit became my weapon through prayer. I would always remind Him of how much I want to perform my God-given assignment and how this addiction would be a great challenge if He deserts me.

Today, I testify in Jesus’ name, that I am totally free! You can be free too no matter what you are going through. Just trust God in prayer, and cast your burdens unto Jesus, for He cares and will always care for you.

 

PRAYER

Dear HolySpirit, I have known you today as a helper who held the hand of a once addicted Joseph, pulled him out of the mud, and washed him clean with the blood of Jesus. Please do with me same. Oh HolySpirit, help me break off this addiction of (mention what you are addicted to). I am willing to give myself wholly to God. Please help me, in Jesus’ name, Amen.

Glory! if you said this prayer, trust God, you are totally free. Get close to Jesus by reading His word and attending Christian gatherings. The devil uses the gatherings we find ourselves in as a tool to easily drag us into the mud, I humbly invite you to read my article on how you can easily walk in the ways of the Lord, click ME to read. May the HolySpirit be your guide, God bless you.